25 Pieces of Random Advice to Improve Your Mental Health

1. Prioritize your mental and physical health by getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly.

2.  Be kind to others and practice empathy. Remember that everyone has their own struggles and challenges. 

3.  Cultivate a growth mindset by embracing challenges and learning from mistakes. 

4.  Take breaks from technology and social media to reduce stress and improve focus. 

5.  Plan for the future by setting goals and making a budget. 

6.  Learn something new every day, whether it's a new skill or a new fact. 

7.  Stay organized and declutter your space to reduce stress and improve productivity. 

8.  Practice good personal hygiene and keep yourself clean and well-groomed. 

9.  Use positive affirmations and visualization to improve your mindset and confidence. 

10.  Cultivate a strong support system of friends and family who you can rely on. 

11.  Practice good time management by setting deadlines and breaking big tasks into smaller chunks. 

12.  Be honest with yourself and others to build trust and maintain healthy relationships. 

13.  Practice mindfulness and meditation to reduce stress and improve focus. 

14.  Keep an open mind and be willing to change your perspective. 

15.  Be patient and persistent when working towards your goals. 

16.  Communicate effectively by being clear and direct in your communication. 

17.  Show gratitude for what you have and practice generosity towards others. 

18.  Learn how to manage stress and handle difficult situations with a calm attitude. 

19.  Take care of your physical environment and keep your living and working spaces clean and tidy.

20.  Make a habit of reading and learn from others through books, articles, or other forms of media.

21.  Avoid procrastination by breaking tasks down and tackling them one at a time. 

22.  Protect your personal information and be vigilant when it comes to online security. 

23.  Invest in long-term relationships, whether they are friendships or romances. 

24.  Find a hobby or interest that you're passionate about and make time for it regularly. 

25.  Be optimistic and try to see the best in situations and people. 

Not all advice will be suitable for everyone, some will be more relevant than others depending on your circumstances and what you are looking for. Remember that you should always take the time to consider any advice you receive and determine whether it is a good fit for you and your current circumstances. 

How to survive if your gut biome is out of balance?

If your gut microbiome is out of balance, you could feel weak, bloated or constipated. But recent research is showing that an imbalance in your body's microbiome could even affect your mental health - contributing to brain fog, or even anxiety or depression. That's why it has even been called your psychobiome.

An imbalance in the gut microbiome is known as dysbiosis.

Dysbiosis has been linked to a range of health problems, including:

Digestive issues: such as diarrhea, constipation, bloating, and abdominal pain.

Immune system problems: such as an increased risk of infections and autoimmune diseases.

Metabolic problems: an increased risk of metabolic conditions such as obesity and type 2 diabetes.

Mental health problems: There is growing evidence that the gut microbiome can affect mental health and behavior. Dysbiosis has been linked to an increased risk of anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders.

It's worth noting that the gut microbiome is complex and that there is still much that researchers don't know.

Conditions such as bloating, fatigue or cognitive behaviour might be caused by other conditions - even serious ones, so please make sure to see a healthcare professional if you are worried. But it's clear that maintaining a healthy gut microbiome can be important.

The effect of dysbiosis on our hormones

An imbalance in the gut microbiome can affect our hormones because it produces a number of substances that can change the endocrine system - responsible for producing and regulating hormones in the body.

For example, the gut microbiome produces hormones such as serotonin, which is involved in mood regulation, ghrelin, which is involved in appetite and energy metabolism, cortisol, which is involved in stress response, and insulin, which is involved in blood sugar control.

In addition, the gut microbiome can also affect the way that the body processes and eliminates hormones. For example, it plays a role in the metabolism of estrogen, which is a hormone involved in reproductive health. Dysbiosis, has even been linked to hormonal imbalances and an increased risk of certain hormonal conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8784943/#:~:text=A%20dysbiotic%20microbiota%20in%20PCOS,)%2C%20and%20increased%20androgen%20secretion%20%5B]

It's complex! A lot more research is needed to fully understand how all of it works. But, it's clear that the gut microbiome plays a role in hormonal healthand is important for overall health and well-being.

What if I have dysbiosis?

If you feel bloated, eat too many processed foods or feel anxious or depressed, it could be caused by anything - get yourself checked out by a proper doctor. But, if you think you have the symptoms of dysbiosis:

Digestive issues (diarrhea, constipation, bloating, and abdominal pain),

Immune system problems (increased risk of infections and autoimmune diseases),

Metabolic problems (difficulty losing weight, obesity or type 2 diabetes)

Or

Mental health problems (anxiety, depression and other mental health disorders) Then it might be useful for you to consult a gut specialist. Actually, eating a varied diet is useful in any case. You know what they say: Eat the rainbow!

So, how do you survive dysbiosis?

To combat dysbiosis, you need to do things to make your gut bacteria happy. It is normal for the gut composition to vary from person to person but in general, a healthy gut microbiome contains a diverse population of beneficial bacteria, fungi, and other microorganisms that work together to support overall health and well-being.

• Lactobacillus: found in fermented foods such as yogurt and sauerkraut. It has been shown to have a number of health benefits, including the ability to improve digestion and support the immune system.
• Bifidobacterium: commonly found in fermented foods and is known for its ability to support digestive and immune health.
• Escherichia coli: While some strains of E. coli are associated with food poisoning, others are actually beneficial and play a role in the gut microbiome. These strains help to produce vitamin K and prevent the growth of harmful bacteria.
• Faecalibacterium: involved in the digestion of fiber and has been linked to a number of health benefits, including the ability to reduce inflammation.
• Bacteroides: This is a group of bacteria that is involved in the breakdown of complex sugars and has been shown to support digestive health.
• Akkermansia: this has been shown to have a number of health benefits, including the ability to improve insulin sensitivity and reduce inflammation.

There are many factors that can influence the composition of the gut microbiome, including diet, lifestyle, medications, and the environment. Some people may have a naturally diverse and healthy gut microbiome, while others may be more prone to imbalances.

Eat a healthy, varied diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, and nuts. Importantly, limit intake of processed foods, which are often high in added sugars, unhealthy fats, and additives. These include processed meats, processed cheeses, cake, biscuits etc.

Incorporate fermented foods into your diet such as yoghurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kimchi which are rich in probiotics.
Avoid overusing antibiotics: While antibiotics can be life-saving in some cases, they can also kill off beneficial bacteria in the gut. Try to use them only when necessary and consider taking a probiotic supplement to help repopulate the gut with beneficial bacteria after a course of antibiotics.
Consider taking a probiotic supplement: Probiotic supplements contain live microorganisms that can help to support a healthy gut microbiome. There are many different types of probiotic supplements available, so it's a good idea to speak with a healthcare professional or a registered dietitian to determine which one is right for you.
Practice stress management techniques: Chronic stress has been linked to an imbalance in the gut microbiome. Incorporating stress management techniques, such as mindfulness, exercise, and relaxation techniques, into your daily routine can help to support a healthy gut microbiome.

Mental Health and the Psychobiome

Lately, I've been reading research about the gut biome - that mysterious population of good microorganisms which inhabits your digestive system.

These microorganims have been found to exert a lot more influence on us than we ever realised - and did you know there are more microorganims present in your body than your own cells? Trillions of them! [https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/nih-human-microbiome-project-defines-normal-bacterial-makeup-body]

In humans, gut bacteria have been found to be important for a number of reasons.

They take care of your food for you, they clear up infections, they regulate your metabolism:

Digestion: The gut microbiome helps to break down and digest food, particularly non-digestible fibers, which are important for maintaining bowel health.

Nutrient absorption: The gut microbiome helps to produce certain vitamins and other nutrients that are important for human health, such as vitamin K and certain B-vitamins.

Immune system function: The gut microbiome plays a role in the development and function of the immune system. It helps to protect against infections and may also influence autoimmune diseases.

Metabolic health: The gut microbiome helps to regulate metabolism and has been linked to an increased risk of metabolic conditions such as obesity and type 2 diabetes.

Mental health: There is growing evidence that the gut microbiome can affect mental health and behavior. Research has shown that there is a link between the gut microbiome and conditions such as anxiety, depression, and stress.

So you see, the gut microbiome is an important component of human health too and has been shown to have a wide-ranging impact on various aspects of our lives!

The psychobiome refers to the influence of the microbiota (the microorganisms that live in and on the human body) on the brain and behavior.

There is growing evidence that the gut microbiome, which is the population of microorganisms living in the digestive tract, can affect mental health and behavior. For example, research has shown that there is a link between the gut microbiome and conditions such as anxiety, depression, and stress.

Wait? The gut microbiome may affect mental health?

One theory is that the gut microbiome can produce neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine, which are involved in mood regulation. The gut microbiome might even produce other substances that affect the brain, such as short-chain fatty acids, which have been shown to have an impact on brain function. In addition, the gut microbiome may influence the immune system, which can in turn affect the brain and behaviour.

All this is an area of active research, but lots of research shows that the gut microbiome plays a role in mental health and that there is a bidirectional relationship between the gut and the brain. This means that not only can the gut microbiome influence the brain, but the brain can also influence the gut microbiome.

Can we improve our diet if we want to improve our psychbiome?

Yes! There are several ways in which you can improve your diet to support a healthy gut microbiome:

Eat a diverse range of plant-based foods: These can provide a variety of prebiotics, which are non-digestible fibers that feed the beneficial bacteria in the gut. Examples include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, and nuts. Incorporate fermented foods into your diet: These are rich in probiotics, which are live microorganisms that can provide health benefits when consumed in sufficient amounts. Examples include yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kimchi.

Limit your intake of processed foods: These are often high in added sugars, unhealthy fats, and additives, which can disrupt the balance of the gut microbiome.

Avoid overusing antibiotics: While these medications can be life-saving in some cases, they can also kill off beneficial bacteria in the gut. Try to use them only when necessary and consider taking a probiotic supplement to help repopulate the gut with beneficial bacteria after a course of antibiotics.

But everyone's different! What works for one person may not work for another. If you consider making changes to your diet to improve your gut microbiome, it's a good idea to speak with a healthcare professional or a registered dietitian for personalized recommendations.

Which bacteria do fermented foods support in our gut?

Fermented foods contain probiotics - live microorganisms.

Different fermented foods contain different types of probiotics.

For example:
yogurt contains bacteria from the Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium genera,
sauerkraut contains Lactobacillus plantarum and Leuconostoc mesenteroides,
Kefir contains a variety of bacteria and yeast, including Lactobacillus kefiri and Saccharomyces kefir
and Kimchi contains Lactobacillus plantarum and Lactobacillus brevis.

Not all fermented foods contain probiotics, as some types of fermentation do not result in the production of live microorganisms. It's also worth noting that the probiotic content of fermented foods can vary depending on how they are made and stored. To ensure that you are getting live probiotics from your fermented foods, it's a good idea to choose products that are made with traditional fermentation methods and that are kept refrigerated.

Traditional methods of fermentation?

Yes, there are quite a few!

Lactic acid fermentation

This is a type of fermentation that occurs when bacteria convert carbohydrates into lactic acid. It is used to produce fermented foods such as yogurt, sauerkraut, and pickles.

Alcohol fermentation

This is a type of fermentation that occurs when yeasts convert sugars into ethanol and carbon dioxide. It is used to produce fermented beverages such as beer, wine, and sake.

Acetic acid fermentation

This is a type of fermentation that occurs when bacteria convert ethanol into acetic acid. It is used to produce vinegar.

Butyric acid fermentation

This is a type of fermentation that occurs when bacteria produce butyric acid as a byproduct. It is found in fermented dairy products such as butter and ghee.

It's absolutely not an exact science yet and there are many other factors which affect how we feel and how we respond to the foods we eat, but if we start to feel bloated or lethargic, then this may be one are to explore. It might work and it can't hurt!

Next: How to survive if your gut biome is out of balance.

5 Fears About Google Glass - Is Your Privacy the Biggest Problem?

Perform a search with the words 'Google glass fears' today and there are 6,770,000 hits.
Scanning through the first ten pages, most of the stories are about 'privacy fears'.

Slash Gear are worried about the facial recognition problem. Third parties might be able to develop apps which let your Glass recognise the faces of people nearby - although at the moment, it could just be the people it already knows from memory, soon, this ability might be expanded.

Big arguments on Cnet where people are not sure if they will invade privacy or not - but the article's points about them needing to up their game if they are to appeal to the wider populace are very valid.

Business Insider are talking of the 'paranoia' associated with the unknown. There is talk of banning people wearing them while driving (well, duh!) and many worries about people taking surreptitious pictures.

There are plenty of other fears:
Are they a safe thing to wear close to your temples?
Will they ruin your eyesight?

Now, let's just take a minute to think about things. After all the hype, what do we actually know to be facts? The little child in all of us must yearn for this magical toy, I know I do. But are they really what we have assumed them to be? You know when you assume, you make an ass of you and me!

I think most of us have heard about Robert Scoble. Despite a webpage which takes forever to download, this computerphile has publicly declared his love for the Glass. We have seen him shower with them on (It's Chico time all over again!), we have seen him share them with others, and he has told us that he will never, ever, ever take them off.

Although running time is only 3 hours, so he has to take them off sometimes, unless he just lies down with them on while he recharges them, becoming inanimate himself, waiting for the augmentation to come back.

Because that is what they are supposed to be after all, augmented reality.

So, this privacy thing:

The Fear: Everyone will take pictures of everyone without their knowledge!

No, everyone can take pictures of everyone already without their knowledge.

Not only does almost every other person have a camera in some sort of portable device, but also, secret camera recording devices have been available for years.

What Google glass will bring is some idiot with a pair of glasses frames shouting 'Glass, take a picture' at you when they walk around. Or, they will wave their hands in front of the frames a few times, probably too quickly, switching the camera on and off a few times before they get what they want. Not the magical experience everyone hopes for.  Apparently the resolution is not so sharp at the moment either.

What if the person does not want their picture taken? Can they come and shout, 'Glass, delete all photos' at someone who is wearing Goggle's glaases? In fact can anyone come and talk to your glasses? Have you ever left the room with the Speech Recognition software running and come back to find that it has been obeying someone talking on TV?



The Fear: My pictures will be uploaded online without my knowledge.

Yes, hello? They already can be. How many pics of people have you seen online without their consent? Celebrities without makeup, Walmart shoppers, Geeks and Nerds they are already up there.

What glass will bring, is after taking this low-res photo, someone fumbling with their Smartphone (which already has two high quality cameras), logging in to Facebook or Twitter and doing it that way. Because how are they going to log in to these places with Google Glass? Shout their password in?

As will all mobile devices, we will have to see about the health concerns. In twenty or thirty years' time, we will have to investigate the effects of prolonged use of mobile devices so close to the temples and eyes.

But my biggest worry is the massive potential for distraction.

How many of you have tried to speak to a child who is watching their favourite programme on TV?
The hypnotic effects are much greater if it is favourite video game or when they are lost online.

I've already written about having someone step out into the road while texting.

This is the latest fear: Google glass will produce generations of the deaf, dumb and blind.

Plugged in and zoned out. Augmented, but not actually present in the here and now.

What is going to stop someone trying to read their emails while they drive along the M4?

Or even watching TVCatchup walking along the road?

Try talking to your kids then!

Steve Pavlina: How to Make Money From Your Blog

I have just spent the past half an hour reading the most amazing blog post.
Even though it was written seven years ago, this monster sized post had me glued right up until the end as if it was the latest bestseller from the New York Times list.

The title? How to Make Money From Your Blog.

Steve Pavlina calls his site Personal Development For Smart People and I really feel like this post has opened my eyes to the amazing possibilities which are out there. I'm sure I'll be going back to check out his other posts.

Why?

I don't know, I can't put my finger on it for the moment, but Steve has a particular style of no-nonsense straight-talking which seems to cut through the rest of the rubbish which is out there and bring you the information exactly as it is.

His underlying message seems to be, 'know what you want and be true to yourself'. He starts by asking, 'are you 100% satisfied with making money from your blog at all?' This makes sense because in case anyone has any sort of qualms about it, then they will subconsciously self-sabotage at every stage to set themselves up for a fall.

I'm sure I'm not the only one to have noticed this, and I feel a little like the cheerleader who arrives when the game is over but still insists on doing the whole routine, but I wanted to bring this new information to my readers.

It is very refreshing to find something like this.

I like that. Thanks Steve.

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed by the Internet

Twitter
Facebook
Pinterest
Instagram
LinkedIn
Plurk
Klout
StumbleUpon
Reddit
YouTube

It is so easy to feel completely overwhelmed by the internet. And everyday there seems to be a new website which 'everyone has known about for ages' but which you have never even heard of.

Social media has its own set of sites - if you ever visit a page which has all the social media icons, there can be twenty to thirty different little buttons. Then there are spin offs of the main sites which add value such as Tweetdeck.com, SocialOomph.com, Twitpic.com, Justunfollow.com for Twitter.

Today was the first time I visited Tweetdeck.

Yes, I know.

I've heard that it existed for a long time, but never went on it before. You can join and then allow your twitter account to have access and you see all the Twitter services laid out side by side. Very useful if you need to interact with a lot of people quickly.

Following on from there, SocialOomph.com promises a lot such as automated tweets and JustUnfollow.com lets you find out who follows you and who has unfollowed you.

It is so easy to get bogged down with the minutiae and to go off on a tangent and forget why you switched the computer on.

Facebook has its own timesucking properties with all the thousands of games and apps.

And for a blogger there is no end to what to do, blog, find links, write guest posts.

But the fact is, that these time wasters are excellent at making you think that you are extremely busy, spending a lot of time being productive. Hours can go by in the blink of an eye as computer time runs at a very different speed to real-world time. Einstein would have very quickly developed another theory about time and relativity in the real world compared to the virtual world.

The way to survive this, is to take it for what it is - a series of entertaining diversions which do not really mean as much as you think.

Although it feels like there is a vast mountain of information out there which needs sifting for the golden nuggets, hasn't there always been a huge tranche of knowledge? The big difference now is that it is possible to see exactly what you don't know. It is that ocean of the unknown which lurks just at the edge of your consciousness - or is a Google click away! Remember when they used to show you how many millions of pages of results they had?

The truth is, even if someone did nothing but read stuff online for their whole life, they would still not be able to get through a fraction of the everything there is.

Just understand that there will always be information and knowledge there that it will not be possible to examine in as great detail as you would like. Be careful to prioritise your time so that the real jobs get done and swimming in the information soup is minimised to downtime only.

While some people are very good at blinkering themselves so that they get on with their lives, others are pulled in so many directions that they eventually grind to a standstill.

If you are on a Mac, then Anti Social is an app which blocks off the social media parts of the internet for as long as you want.

Focus Writer is a great app for writers and allows them to focus on writing, with timers and to-do lists factored in to a familiar looking app.

However to do it, the main emphasis is on how well you can control yourself and how well you can narrow your focus down to what you want to achieve.

The people who can do this will be the successful ones in the unfocused years to come.

Banned By Paypal

I read somewhere that being banned by Paypal was a little like catching chicken pox. It is not a question of whether you will be banned, but when.

But, unlike chicken pox which goes away after a while, being banned by Paypal is apparently for life.

Soon after I wrote the article criticizing them for the violin thing, I found out that I had been banned by Paypal.

After many phone calls asking why they have banned me, despite not having a very active account, I have not discovered the reason. Apparently all this time I have been a dangerous risk to their business and they do not want to have any dealings with subversives like me.

So, I have started the procedure of trying to find out why they have banned me through official channels.

I'll keep you posted about how I get on.

How to Survive the Zombie Mummies

Every morning I have the good fortune to drive along a road where there is a good school in an affluent area.

Lucky me.

And every morning I meet the mummies.

No, not exactly what I had in mind.

I mean the Zombie Mummies.

That's better.

It is only the school run, but these women, I'm sorry, but they are all women, I have yet to see a man at the wheel, have probably been up for hours primping and preening because they are primed to perfection.

They are mostly all driving large 4x4s which their husbands have bought for them to run around town in, no doubt.

And these women are all dead behind the eyes. There is little to no contact with the passengers and there is zero awareness of what is going on in the road around them.

This is a road where there are cars parked on either side, school buses drive up and down, and hundreds of school children are walking around.

What is the point of the Zombie Mummy?

The point of the zombie mummy is to get from point A to point B.

How does the Zombie Mummy fulfill its purpose?

The zombie mummy fulfills its purpose by getting from point A to point B.

How do You Survive a Zombie Mummy?

Stay out of the way. Stay well out of the way. The zombie mummy does not see you and it does not know that you are there. This is good.

Your aim is to keep it this way. If they are driving down this narrow road towards you, chances are, they have not registered that you are also driving towards them. If, by a hapless manoeuvre of your own, you have managed to become entangled in a face-off, it will sit there until there is no obstruction in its way. It does not matter that it only has to move back 1 foot and you have to reverse along half of the road. Just do it. It will sit there. I'm telling you, just do it.

Legend has it that if you stare too long into the face of a zombie mummy, ... no I can't it's just too horrible to even think about.

That wasn't too hard was it?

The zombie mummy will now drive past you and leer.

Decades of research have been conducted about this. Too many for me to summarise here. But to boil it down into two sentences: Some think that this leer is gratitude. I don't.

None of these researchers has even looked at a zombie mummy the way that I have, day after relentless day.

But I have lived. I am a survivor. Now I am here to share my experiences with you.

Two simple points:

• Try to stay out of the way
• Do NOT expect any gratitude

I have been trying my own little experiments. But I urge you, you must NOT try any of these for yourself:

I thank them. I suddenly give way when they least expect it. I show a cheery hand signal to try to reach that submerged fleck of humanity which must surely be deep down there somewhere. The animus which impels the beast.

Don't thank me, my little efforts are weak and puny in a world that is dominated by the SUV and the designer poodle. But I try.

OK, thank me a little.

4 Reasons Why I am Suspicious of Tea Bags

I am very suspicious of tea bags.

1. Why does the tea brew straight away? With normal tea it takes at least a minute to make a weak tea. Why does the water immediately change colour when you use a tea bag?

2. Why can I re-use the same tea bag at least 4 times? Just how much tea is in one of those paper tea bags? Am I really wasting tea everytime I use a tea bag?

3. Why does using a tea bag stain everything so much? When making tea with loose tea leaves, nothing gets stained, but use a tea bag and the spoon, the pot, the cup, all end up stained brown. Do they fill each tea bag up with shoe polish or something?

4. Why is tea bag tea a different colour from loose leaf tea? Hmm? Why is it a different colour? Isn't it tea?

These are my four reasons why I am suspicious of tea bags.

They should be called tea bads.

Thank you.

How to Survive a Gas Blast!

This amazing picture shows what happened when a gas blast caused the complete destruction of a house. The amazing blast blew out all the windows of all the houses in the street and could be heard half a mile away.

Incredibly no-one was hurt!

Passers-by escaped with their lives after walking just inches from the house only minutes before.

One young girl was thrown up in the air and landed on top of the debris.

And the elderly lady resident of the property was saved by a wardrobe, which fell on her and protected her from the house falling down around her!

81 year old Betty Hodgkiss lay buried under the wardrobe for an agonizing two hours while firemen struggled their way through to rescue her.

An amazing survivor!

How to Survive: Sheer Unadulterated Terror

Terror comes from loss of control. Fear of the unknown, fear of something bigger, stronger, scarier, it all comes from having the thing there and not being able to do anything about it.

If you could only DO something, then the danger might still be there whatever you do, but with a little more control, the terror might diminish. And let you think properly and see a way out. If something in your life is causing you to suffer from pure, blind terror then there are several things you can do about it.

The first thing to do is to recognise and accept it for what it is.

It is large, it is looming, it is causing your bodily organs to turn to jelly and do strange things that bodily organs are not supposed to do - at least not in public!

Luckily or unluckily, we humans are designed to cope with a lot more than we realise. Maybe thousands of times more stress and pressure than we ever thought ourselves capable of. This is how we survive. Before the concrete jungle, maybe our ancestors were roaming around the real jungle with the threat of being killed and eaten around every corner.

Wait, there are no corners in the jungle!

... the threat of being killed and eaten around every tree-trunk and vine. We are built for survival, we have great resources at our disposal, both mental and physical.

What is this big thing? 

Unfortunately, the other major thing that we humans are very good at is avoidance. My blog post about procrastination STILL hasn't been written! Our brains are perfectly capable of shutting our eyes and wandering around as if there is nothing worrying us. We can do this for ages. If the big terrifying thing gets in our way, then we just do a quick side step shuffle and niftily bypass whatever it is.

But, luckily or unluckily, our bodies are not that great at this kind of avoidance. Even though we don't open our bank statements for months, or don't go into the boss's office, or go the long way home, or go to the doctor about our fears, this is all cerebral stuff - it is all in our heads. 

Physically, we are suffering from aches and pains, our hair quits, we feel unwell. The blood pressure rises, toothaches start, hundreds of other little niggles plague us. Our bodies let us know in no uncertain terms that there is a big scary terror following us around wherever we go. This is not good!

Now, this is not an airy fairy blog about making you feel good. - OK, sometimes it is. But today, this is a hard-talking take-no-prisoners blog about facing our fears. 

Take that fear firmly by the shoulders (not if it is the boss!) and look it squarely in the eye. Face it head-on!

The sooner you can do this, the better. You might find that the problem is much smaller than you thought, you might find that it is much bigger, truly gigantic proportions. But at least you have started to take back some control.

The next thing to do is nothing.

Got you! That's right, the next thing to do for a few days, now that you have seen it, is let it run around in your brain. The worst thing you can do is to get worked up and react straightaway. Do not cancel all your credit cards, or walk into your supervisor's office and pull the wig right off his head or go and punch the neighbours. Sit down calmly and think about the problem. Let's face it, you may have lived with it for weeks, so two days now are not going to make so much difference.

But, sometimes, when you do this bit, you realise that there is a great release of stress. Just knowing what your fear is and knowing that you are going to gain control of it, can go a long way towards letting you deal with it better. It can let you see ways to cut it down into smaller bits. It can let you see that you can share your fear with someone and face it together. 

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain

Face your fear. Chop it down to size and send it packing, but don't let it stalk you! 

Why is it Necessary to Budget? Download your FREE Spreadsheet.

Having a budget or living with a budget does not have to be as scary as it sounds. Neither does it mean taking the cheaper option, having to make do with lower quality things. It only means knowing how much money you have available to spend and this can only be a good thing.

A budget can be for a day if you are out for the day and have a certain amount of cash to spend. It can be for a week, or however long you want to make it.

The best thing about a long term budget is that you are not only in control of how much money you have now, but you are able to forecast how much money you will have in a year's time, or five year's time or longer, assuming that things stay the same.

The magic of this is that it allows you to see exactly what goes where. You can see where the little wormholes which suck up the cash for no reason and you can see work out your minimum monthly amount. That is what is the absolute minimum income you need to have to keep everything ticking along.

Then with the rest of the income, you are free to spend it however you like. You can pay off debts, you can save up to buy that special thing you have always wanted or go on that holiday of a lifetime.

Having a budget can actually free you to do more with your income.

And it is much better than living in the dark, not knowing how much money comes in, how much goes out.

I have put together an excel spreadsheet which can let someone manage their monthly budget over a year.
It is available as a FREE DOWNLOAD for anyone who wants to use it.

It can be downloaded from this page.

If you find it useful then please feel free to click one of the adverts on the right of this page.

There is a Microsoft Word document which explains how to use it.

To use it you will need to have Microsoft Excel.

Baby Proof Your Home!!

If you have one of these for the first time then the chances are that you have not looked around your home from knee height in a while. If you have a particularly mobile one, then they can move at a surprisingly fast rate.

Once one of these starts to move around, then it is only a matter of days before they have mastered the shuffle, the super-crawl and the turbo-toddle.

Sometimes, some parents may have had quite a docile one already and so they have had a relatively easy time. But the next one which comes is a real surprise.

If you turn around even for a second, then they are off. The main objective is to have a taste of all those tempting objects which have only been observed until now from an infuriatingly safe distance!

If it can be picked up, it can be tasted.
If you can do it undisturbed, try to isolate your little explorer in one room and make that room as safe as possible.

Baby Proof!


The best way to do this is to install a baby gate before they start to crawl around and keep it closed.

• Examine the room at ankle height and cover up any exposed sockets with blank plugs so that wet fingers can not investigate them.
• Remove all fragile ornaments and all things with small parts.
• Look at things which might be head height when your little terranaut stands up. When the attention is diverted, it is always really easy to walk in to things.
• Look for low tables with table cloths which could be pulled off easily. Remove them completely if possible.
• Put baby covers on all furniture with sharp corners.
• Anything that can possibly be climbed will be climbed, given time. Remove all fragile ornaments from higher shelves, especially if these look particularly tasty!
• If possible get rid of all loose flexes or fasten them down in some way so that they can not be pulled out and tasted.

It only takes a few weeks for them to be sitting there, innocently gurgling at you to running rings around you. Don't be deceived. It might look like they are gurgling directly at you, but in reality, they are looking right past your left ear at a ceramic ornament on the shelf and wondering what it tastes like!

Be prepared

How to Survive Google's New Privacy Policy

From the 1st of March, Google will implement a new privacy policy across many of its products.
The aim is to give you a more personalised searching experience - whether you want one or not!

Every time you perform any search through Google's search engine, and click on any of the results, Google will keep a track of your search clicking activities and will tailor the results it gives you next time to suit your interests mores.

This is already annoying, if, for example you have bought a pair of trousers from M&S and then every single web site you go on for the next few days shows you nothing but adverts for trousers from M&S. But you already have bought trousers, so why would you want to see them everywhere you go?

The way to stop this is to log in to your Google account and go to 'Account Settings'.

Find 'Services' and you will see a link whick lets you 'Go to web history'.

From this page it is possible to click on 'Remove all web history'

You can also 'Pause' your web history on the same page. This stops it from gathering any more information about you.

This should stop any more information being kept about your internet activity.

How to Survive Being Ginger

Picture attribution Melbourne Weekly Eastern

There have been a number of news articles recently about people with ginger hair suffering because of their hair colour.

There has been someone teased so badly that his parents removed him from school and a poor woman who has had a childhood photograph circulated and has received actual hate messages on her facebook page.

At first I did not understand this at all. It is hair. In many cases, ginger people have thicker hair per cm than other hair colours, and it looks much shinier than normal. So, in essence, what we are talking about is a beautiful, thick shiny head of gorgeous colour hair.

But of course, people are ignorant and lazy and stupid and it is 'fun' to mock something which is different or strange or in the minority, so it is very easy to believe that some people are mercilessly taunted for nothing but their hair colour. Even reading that sentence back seems ridiculous, but it happens everyday, so it is something that many have to live with.

A search through Google is not very enlightening either. The first four pages of a search have websites which seem to do nothing but make fun of ginger locks. They are in this category : the ginger survival guide. This page amounts to nothing more than race hate and should, in my opinion, be removed from the internet. It is a treatise on how to 'cope' in the presence of Ginger kids and ends with a chapter on how to kill a ginger person. Reading this drivel made me realise that this is a serious problem.

What about in the past? How much did Boticelli love ginger hair? A lot. As did many of the Renaissance painters. Ginger angels, women, men and gods are perfectly common in hundreds of paintings. Why? Was ginger hair more valued perhaps, because it was rarer? Like gold? In fact, the ancient Greeks died their hair ginger to denote courage.

Muslims are not allowed to dye their hair back to its original colour, but are allowed to use Henna. So many older muslim men, especially in India have red hair and beards.

Many famous and influential people in the past have had red hair. Queen Elizabeth I, Winston Churchill, Boudicca of the Iceni, Vincent van Gough - there are many long lists on the internet.

Recently, Prince Harry, Nicole Kidman, Geri Halliwell, Lindsay Lohan, Rupert Grint, Emma Stone, Lily Cole and a host of other people have flaming red locks. Marilyn Monroe was a red-head!

And many people dye their hair in various shades of red every day.

So it is really difficult to know what to say to people who are undoubtedly suffering.

Some people find it easy to embrace their looks in general no matter whether they fit stereotypical, media-depicted versions of normalcy. Others struggle with their self image no matter what others tell them or however realistically they fit the mold of good looks.

So, How to Survive Being Ginger?


I do not think it is a good idea to hide from something as fundamental to your identity as your hair colour. It may be a solution for a few years, but surely not for the rest of your life. If people are teasing you, just imagine how much satisfaction they would derive to know that their teasing is working.

There is a story where two people with ginger hair who lived in a house together found out that their house was being called the Ginger Palace. Instead of being upset, or lashing out, or hiding from this, they decided to hold a party where only people with red hair were invited and this has become a major tradition for them.

The fact is that bullies and idiots will always pick on difference. But the important thing is to hold your head up high and be the person you are and show all the idiots that they are the losers.

But just learn to live with the nicknames about your hair and your skin and your freckles. You know that everyone you meet will have some comment to make about your hair so next time someone says 'Carrot top', just laugh. Carrots are green on top anyway!

Case Study One: Extremely Taken for Granted

My new consultancy service was launched last week and the first person has given permission for me to write up their case study here.

Simply book a time slot and briefly tell me the problem and I will call you for one hour to discuss whatever issue you may have.

Extremely Taken For Granted

I will call the first person 'Sam'. And this is Sam's story.
Sam owns three houses. The plan was to let them out and build up enough income and savings to buy more houses and to set up a property business buying and selling property. The problem is that Sam's family have been living in the houses instead! So there is little or no rent coming in and Sam is paying three mortgages as well as rent on the family home. This has been going on for over ten years which means that Sam has paid out hundreds of thousands of pounds, literally in mortgages with very little return.

To top it all, Sam has been unemployed for the past three years and has now built up a large credit card debt just to pay for everything. The family do not offer to help with anything and do not offer to pay their share of the money and do not even question how Sam pays thousands of pounds each month in property bills alone.

I asked what Sam has done to try to get the family to pay their share. Sam said: given deadlines for them to move out, threatened to stop paying the mortgages, given ultimatums but nothing ever happens.

I asked what happens when the deadlines come?

Sam said: Everything goes quiet for a bit and then it all carries on like before.

Is there a Solution To This Problem?
It is so difficult when family members take you for granted like this. At the beginning, Sam was wanting to show that Sam could cope with the extra payments. Trying not to reveal a vulnerable side, especially to family members has cost Sam greatly in financial terms.

Then, as the years roll by, and everyone settles in to the new way of life, the roles are reinforced by repetition. the dependants become more needy and it becomes harder and harder to find a way to get them to move. Now, they maybe do not even think about how much money it is costing because they just take it completely for granted that it will be taken care of.

Giving weak deadlines and not sticking to them or following through with the threats meant that all credibility was lost and everyone knows that they are empty threats. But also, how could Sam stop paying the mortgages on the property since that would be self-destructive and would result in all the property being lost as well.

I wondered how Sam would feel about now laying all the cards on the table and sitting down with the family members and showing them exactly how much money was going down the drain each month. they might be shocked into action. But once again, Sam said that it would be difficult to show a weakness like that.

We discussed whether Sam could stop paying an extra, expensive rent each month and start to live in one of the other houses as well. That sounded like a possibility which would save some money.

Or tell the family that one of the houses was being sold and actually follow through by registering with an estate agent. There is enough room in the remaining houses for everyone to have rooms. The sale could let Sam start fresh and pay off those debts.

It is clear where Sam stands legally, but family matters always prove a lot more delicate if harmony is to be maintained, but it is completely unfair if one person has to carry everyone else like that, especially if that person is not able to cope themselves.

Sam is going to try some of the suggestions we discussed and book another call next month. I sincerely wish Sam luck.

How to Survive on a Budget

The first step is to work out what your weekly or monthly budget is.
This could be your pocket money, or your monthly allowance or your income.

Many people these days use online banking. If you do, download the last statement for the last complete month and open it up as a spreadsheet. If you do not have online banking, and your bank sends you monthly statements, then enter it into a spreadsheet. For pocket money or allowances, enter the amount that you regularly receive.

Now sort the spreadsheet into types of transaction. This will separate your income from your regular outgoings and your extra expenditure. From this spreadsheet, it is now clearly easy to where the money goes every month.

As Mr. Micawber famously said

"Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery"

From which you can see, if you spend more than you earn, then you will be miserable!
So, now you know how much of your income goes out on things that you can not avoid, like rent/mortgage, travel, utility bills, kids etc. And after this, whatever is left is your budget for the month. I hope there is something left.

Look carefully through the monthly expenses. Are there any items that can be easily reduced? Do you pay too much for insurance? Can you cut down on any other bills by switching to another company? The moneysavingexpert website is very good for searching for money saving deals.

If you have been following my budget food posts, then hopefully you can make some savings with the week's food budget to opt for cheaper alternatives, or to cut down on waste.

Once you have made as many savings as possible, then work out an amount of money which you can safely spend over the month.

For food expenses, to live within a budget the key is to plan. You can not plan every single meal or allow for emergencies and unexpected invitations, but in general, you know that you will have three meals a day and these can be planned in advance. This way you can decide how much you will spend on your food budget for the month.

A good way to live on a budget is to leave all debit and credit cards at home. Because we are survivors, we do not cut up our cards or anything so drastic, but we stay prepared for all emergencies. If we only carry the exact money in our bags or pockets that we need to spend, then it will be much harder to overspend. It really feels like spending if you have to hand over the actual money instead of just giving your card. For some reason, the card seems to be detached from you and your bank account. So even people with not very much money happily hand over cards to buy things they do not need. But if you really have to give someone £58 in cash, then you actually feel it!

So, cut down where you can.
Work out how much you can reasonably spend per week or day and carry that amount with you.
It is very easy to get out of the spending habit if you have to use cash.

Next Post: Why should we budget? Download your free spreadsheet

Budget Food: Tortilla - Spanish Omelette

Ingredients:
1       medium onion          6.5p
1       medium potatoes     10p
3       eggs                        39p
1       knob of butter           20p
seasoning to taste

Preparation:
Finely chop a medium onion and gently fry it in a frying pan. We want it to soften and not go brown.
Peel two small or one medium potato and slice it as thinly as possible. Add this to the onion in the pan and cook both of them gently until soft. Depending on the potato, this should take between 10-20 minutes. If the potato is not cooking, then add a splash of water and simmer with a cover until done.

In a bowl, break three eggs and beat together. Add seasoning to taste.

When the onions and potatoes are done, and slightly cool, transfer them to the egg and mix.

Wipe the pan and add some butter or oil. Add the whole egg, onion and potato mixture and cook gently for around 20 minutes. Turn the mixture over and cook on both sides until the egg is completely cooked.

Total cost 75.5p

Budget Food: Chewy Cookies

The first budget food recipe I have researched is those big fat chewy cookies which you can buy in supermarkets and from stalls. These can cost up to £1 each in some places, so I was wondering how much it costs to make them. The prices are from Aldi and are correct on the 10th of February 2012.


This is the recipe:
250g    self raising flour                     9p
125g    butter                                 59.5p
200g    sugar                                  47.5p
1         egg                                     13p

plus anything else you like such as chocolate chips, raisins, dried fruit, etc.

Preparation:
Preheat the oven to Gas mark 3/170 degrees C. Grease a baking sheet lightly.
Melt the butter and add the sugar. Stir until it is well mixed and begins to be a little lighter in colour. Wait until it is cool then add the egg and mix again until it is creamy and light. It does not look like cake mixture, just a little lighter. Then mix in all the flour until it is a smooth consistency.

Drop largeish amounts of the mixture onto the baking sheet with a tablespoon taking care to keep them around 5-6cm apart because they will spread out in the oven.

Bake for 15 minutes. The chewy, soft consistency comes from underbaking them slightly. They will be large, flat slightly sticky cookies when they come out, but when cool, they are fine.

Using this recipe, I made 17 medium sized cookies for £1.29.

That is 7.6p per cookie.
(Include energy costs if you can work them out for the length of time that the oven is switched on).

You know that these cost around 10p a cookie, after energy costs. So make up a batch and go out and sell them for 50p each. 

Budget Food

These times are very hard for a lot of people. Someone who is living on benefits must survive on around £60 a week. So, in this series on budget food, I have decided to see how to live on less.

All my prices are based on shopping at Aldi, which is the cheapest supermarket in this area. Once in a while I will also do a comparison with other supermarket prices.

The objective is to make more things at home, rather than buying things which have been ready made, like pre cooked meals, and just to see whether it is possible to have a happy variety of foods and how much they cost us to eat.

I don't plan to preach about healthy eating or what you should or should not be giving to children. There are a lot of other websites like that around. We all live in the real world and do the best we can. We all eat chocolate and cake and unhealthy snacks from time to time because we enjoy them. This is meant to be purely an exercise in the cost of the food.